My small parenting win
- By Lisa Soesbe
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- 27 Jul, 2018
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Why teaching kids to do chores is so important
This is a picture of a big parenting win for me. One day while I was cleaning my garage and the kids were outside with me, I pointed out all of the bugs on the front of my car to my children and they volunteered to wash the car without me asking them. I thought it was so sweet of them to do this for me. I gave them a bucket with some soapy water and the hose and some specific instructions and they worked on this together. I wasn't sure if they were capable of washing my entire car yet without fighting with each other in the middle of it, so I started off by having them just clean off the bugs first. They did a great job with cleaning the bugs off and since I praised them, they wanted to do the rest of the car, so I let them. My advice is if they are willing to do it, encourage it. Times like these are rare but they don't have to be. Does this mean you should give all of your responsibilities to your children while you sit and do nothing? Absolutely not.
Kids like to do things themselves more and more as they get older. Starting with chores from a young age teaches them important life skills and personal responsibilty. It gives them confidence and a sense of accomplishment when they are finished. It also teaches them how to work as a team. If you have more than one child, it is good to give them chores to work on together. Research shows that children who are given chores become more independent adults.
Dad the Mom recently wrote a blog post discussing if kids should get paid for chores. Here is a link: https://www.dadthemom.com/should-kids-get-paid-for-chores/ I personally don't think kids should get paid for chores. I think it sends the wrong message to kids. In reality, moms and dads do not get paid for picking up after themselves, so why should kids? Chores are part of taking care of a household. I don't believe in paying kids to put their clothes away, put dishes away, etc. These are things you are expected to do as a responsible human. If there is a special project that they are not usually expected to do that you want to pay them for, that is fine. Make it the exception, not the rule.
Kids like to do things themselves more and more as they get older. Starting with chores from a young age teaches them important life skills and personal responsibilty. It gives them confidence and a sense of accomplishment when they are finished. It also teaches them how to work as a team. If you have more than one child, it is good to give them chores to work on together. Research shows that children who are given chores become more independent adults.
Dad the Mom recently wrote a blog post discussing if kids should get paid for chores. Here is a link: https://www.dadthemom.com/should-kids-get-paid-for-chores/ I personally don't think kids should get paid for chores. I think it sends the wrong message to kids. In reality, moms and dads do not get paid for picking up after themselves, so why should kids? Chores are part of taking care of a household. I don't believe in paying kids to put their clothes away, put dishes away, etc. These are things you are expected to do as a responsible human. If there is a special project that they are not usually expected to do that you want to pay them for, that is fine. Make it the exception, not the rule.
Kids should do chores as part of living in your house. In our family, we sometimes do laundry together. My husband and I will fold the laundry and the kids put their laundry where it belongs. This is also a way to spend time with your children. You are present with them and working together and all of these moments matter. These are times when you can have some great conversations while working on these things together as a family.
My kids know that when they take their clothes off at the end of the day, they have to bring them to the laundry room to be washed. Their job is to bring the clothes to the laundry room, I wash and dry the clothes and then together we fold and put away our laundry. It gets done a lot quicker that way and the kids know that this is expected of them because of consistency.
Whatever jobs you give your children, be consistent with them. My daughter has been assigned a small job of turning off the front porch lights when she wakes up. She has forgotten many times, but we have reminded her consistently until she didn't need to be reminded anymore. Start small in the beginning with something that they can handle doing without your help. Don't expect them to be perfect. Let them make mistakes and then gently correct them but don't take over and do it for them. If they forget, remind them. If they take initiative to do something on their own without being asked, praise them for doing so. It is so important to build their confidence so that they eventually will be able to do these tasks independently and you will have raised some well-rounded humans with some great life skills.
My kids know that when they take their clothes off at the end of the day, they have to bring them to the laundry room to be washed. Their job is to bring the clothes to the laundry room, I wash and dry the clothes and then together we fold and put away our laundry. It gets done a lot quicker that way and the kids know that this is expected of them because of consistency.
Whatever jobs you give your children, be consistent with them. My daughter has been assigned a small job of turning off the front porch lights when she wakes up. She has forgotten many times, but we have reminded her consistently until she didn't need to be reminded anymore. Start small in the beginning with something that they can handle doing without your help. Don't expect them to be perfect. Let them make mistakes and then gently correct them but don't take over and do it for them. If they forget, remind them. If they take initiative to do something on their own without being asked, praise them for doing so. It is so important to build their confidence so that they eventually will be able to do these tasks independently and you will have raised some well-rounded humans with some great life skills.
Have you ever bribed your children with sweet treats to get them to do something? Let’s face it, we have all done this before. I’ll be the first one to say I have done this until I realized why I should stop the cycle.
In schools, sporting clubs, and other activities where children are involved, people reward children with candy and other unhealthy snacks. There are even popular lesson plans used in schools that include using M&M’s or Skittles; after the children use the treats for their lesson, they get to eat them as their reward. In American society, this has now become the norm. Go to the barbershop and Johnny gets a treat because he sat so nicely for his haircut. Go to dance class and little Mary gets a piece of candy at the end of class. Go to the bank and Joey gets a lollipop for being a good boy in the bank. It goes on and on. The people that assume that this is okay think, “What’s the big deal?”. This may even be you! I will tell you why this is such a big deal. This is affecting our children both physically and emotionally.
In schools, sporting clubs, and other activities where children are involved, people reward children with candy and other unhealthy snacks. There are even popular lesson plans used in schools that include using M&M’s or Skittles; after the children use the treats for their lesson, they get to eat them as their reward. In American society, this has now become the norm. Go to the barbershop and Johnny gets a treat because he sat so nicely for his haircut. Go to dance class and little Mary gets a piece of candy at the end of class. Go to the bank and Joey gets a lollipop for being a good boy in the bank. It goes on and on. The people that assume that this is okay think, “What’s the big deal?”. This may even be you! I will tell you why this is such a big deal. This is affecting our children both physically and emotionally.
If there is one thing I am good at, it is stretching a dollar. This is one reason I love getting gift cards for gifts. I know that I am great at getting as much out of that gift card that I can by shopping myself. It is like a game for me to see how much stuff I can get with a gift card paired with sales and coupons. Call me weird but it saves me money! I do the same thing when it comes to purchasing groceries. I have standards when it comes to the food I am eating and feeding my family. Food is one of the most important things that you buy and what kind of food you are buying matters in terms of your health. So while I would much rather to be able to purchase good food than sport a luxury purse or designer clothing, I still like to stretch my food dollars as much as possible. If I told you that you can actually get cash back for eating healthy, would you believe me?
I want to share a little hack I discovered a long time ago that I use a lot and pretty much for any online shopping. Have you ever heard of Ebates ? If you are not a member, you are going to want to click on the word Ebates anywhere in this post and sign up today because it will save you lots of money on anything you buy and if you use the referral link, once you sign up and spend $25 or more, you will get $10. If you are not a member you have nothing to lose because it costs you nothing. Do you shop online at all? Chances are your favorite retailer is on Ebates and you will get paid for your normal shopping routine just by signing into Ebates first and then going to your favorite site. Some examples of stores I am talking about are Target, Walmart, Kohl's and even Amazon! You simply must check this out.
Now, let me tell you about how I get cash back for eating healthy. My hack is to log in to Ebates and then shop the sales on Vitacost.com. Vitacost is an online health and wellness store with over 45,000 products. They also tend to have the best prices on most things. This gives me great savings because I can buy stuff like organic coconut milk, raw nuts, soy free chocolate chips, nut butters, and gluten-free flours as well as personal care items like deodorant, shampoo and conditioner from Vitacost when it is on sale and if I am buying through Ebates I will normally get at least 3% cash back from Vitacost. They also offer free 2-day shipping on orders over $49 so I usually order stuff that I will need for the month in one order so that I can save on shipping as well.
I want to share a little hack I discovered a long time ago that I use a lot and pretty much for any online shopping. Have you ever heard of Ebates ? If you are not a member, you are going to want to click on the word Ebates anywhere in this post and sign up today because it will save you lots of money on anything you buy and if you use the referral link, once you sign up and spend $25 or more, you will get $10. If you are not a member you have nothing to lose because it costs you nothing. Do you shop online at all? Chances are your favorite retailer is on Ebates and you will get paid for your normal shopping routine just by signing into Ebates first and then going to your favorite site. Some examples of stores I am talking about are Target, Walmart, Kohl's and even Amazon! You simply must check this out.
Now, let me tell you about how I get cash back for eating healthy. My hack is to log in to Ebates and then shop the sales on Vitacost.com. Vitacost is an online health and wellness store with over 45,000 products. They also tend to have the best prices on most things. This gives me great savings because I can buy stuff like organic coconut milk, raw nuts, soy free chocolate chips, nut butters, and gluten-free flours as well as personal care items like deodorant, shampoo and conditioner from Vitacost when it is on sale and if I am buying through Ebates I will normally get at least 3% cash back from Vitacost. They also offer free 2-day shipping on orders over $49 so I usually order stuff that I will need for the month in one order so that I can save on shipping as well.
How we prevented a potentially bad situation by paying close attention
In the words of Ellen Degeneres, "Be Kind to One Another"
